Finding Normalcy in the Chaos: Using Social Media When Parenting Feels Overwhelming
Navigating the challenges of parenting a sick child, this piece explores how social media can provide connection, comfort, and a sense of normalcy—while also highlighting the balance needed to avoid comparison traps.
When my son was two, he needed a feeding tube. The procedure went fine, but watching him lie still on the hospital bed at Oakland Kaiser for over 12 hours while he healed? Not fun. I just sat there, helpless. Friends sent funny memes, and to be honest, they helped. So did sharing my experience on social media. It wasn’t about chasing likes or curating some perfect feed. It was about feeling less alone in a situation that felt... pretty damn lonely.
And I’m not the only one who gets that. Maybe you’ve heard about Whitney, the TikTok mom from Utah. She posted a video dancing in a hospital while her baby was recovering from RSV. I first saw her story on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu, where she talked about how the internet had a lot to say about it, with many (including castmates) accusing her of doing it for attention.
But here’s the reality: parenting is hard, and when your kid is sick, it gets even harder. If dancing or sharing your experience on social media helps someone cope, who are we to judge? Oh wait. Everyone on social media is here to judge. But here’s where I stand—if you’re parenting a kid with health issues, you’ll take any small slice of normal you can get.
Social Media: Connection or Comparison?
When your kid is sick, your world doesn’t look like everyone else’s. I’ve spent more hours than I care to admit scrolling through Instagram while sitting in hospital rooms or waiting for appointments. It’s a distraction, a connection... and also, a comparison trap.
There I was, liking photos of friends at vineyards or on vacation, while my reality was a whole lot more complicated. Between enzymes, nebulizer treatments, and germ anxiety, my life was... let’s just say, not Instagram-ready. I wrote about my experience on the Cystic fibrosis Foundation’s website and my own blog (Instagram vs Reality). Sharing helped, but that constant comparison? It’s tough to shake.
That’s what social media does, right? It shows you a life you’re not living. The carefree one where no one’s worried about germs or hospital stays. And when you’re already stressed, that kind of comparison hits hard.
Whitney’s MomTok RSV Video: Clout or Coping?
Now, back to Whitney. Was her RSV video posted for clout? Probably. But let’s be real—who cares?! We’re all trying to cope, and sometimes that means posting things that others don’t get. Is it perfect? No. But neither is life. And I’m not about to throw shade at someone finding a bit of joy in a dark moment.
… Though, the other moments from the show have bene fun to talk about with friends. :)
The Reality of Social Media for Moms
Social media can make you feel like crap about your situation. Seeing everyone else’s perfect moments while your reality is full of hospital visits and treatment schedules? Yeah, that stings.
But here’s the other side: social media can also remind you that you’re not alone. I’ve had deep, meaningful conversations with parents who are going through similar things. We share frustrations, fears, and those small victories that keep us going. That’s why I keep using it.
Still, there’s a line. When social media started making me feel more drained than connected, I muted, unfollowed, and took a step back. Even though posting on social media was part of my “job,” I had to set those boundaries.
Finding Balance
Social media isn’t the enemy. Sure, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap, but it can also be a tool for connection and humor, especially in those hard moments. For every perfect photo on Instagram (or a reality show about moms on Hulu), there’s a behind-the-scenes reality you don’t see.
And when you’re in the thick of parenting a sick kid, it’s okay to post, scroll, share—whatever helps you feel connected. You don’t need anyone’s approval to do what gets you through.
Whitney’s video caused a lot of debate, but at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to get through life’s hard moments. For some, that means dancing in a hospital room. For others, it means scrolling through Instagram at 3 a.m. Neither one is wrong.
Finding Normalcy in the Chaos
For parents like us—whether your kid has cystic fibrosis or something else—finding normalcy is a survival tactic. And yes, social media can play a part in that. It’s okay to share the highlights, even when things are tough behind the scenes. It’s okay to laugh at memes, feel good about likes, or just enjoy a funny cat video.
We’re all doing the best we can, and sometimes that means embracing the chaos—one post, one dance, or one meme at a time.
Work From Home Productivity Tips (How To Plan Your Day With Your Partner)
From years of working from home, as well as what we have been doing for the past week, here are some of our work from home productivity tips for planning ahead with your partner.
I’ve been working from home on-and-off for 11 years (since I started my own business), and my husband works for Cisco & they have a culture of encouraging employees to work from home (hello WebEx!) so this is not our first rodeo when it comes to sharing an office — and doing it while the chaotic four-year-old is home.
I will never say we are perfect, because… no one is, even if they look like it on social media. Throwing a headstrong kid in the mix, while being stuck at home 24x7, worried about our own small family, friends and other family members getting sick, and stressed over our own jobs (I have lost 2 gigs, and Jeff’s is doing well, but it is easy to get stressed that everything could go) — and life gets pretty chaotic during the normal 9to5.
From years of working from home, as well as what we have been doing for the past week, here are some of our work from home productivity tips for planning ahead with your partner:
✔️ Create a plan with your significant other for trading off child care (if this is possible).
✔️Sit down with your partner (or by yourself) each morning to drink coffee, and go over the schedule. Write down your three main work goals, either in a day planner, a piece of paper or on your phone.
✔️ If it’s your turn to work, close the door to your office or your room, and focus. Set a 15, 30, or 45-minute timer so you can keep focused on the task at hand, versus checking social media for the latest coronavirus news (which we all know can lead you down a rabbit hole). Here are ideas for some other work from home tools, including my favorite social media tool: a kitchen timer!
✔️ If you do have to work while watching the kids, try to do simple tasks because we know they take a lot of energy. And save deeper projects for naptime, after bedtime, or first thing in the morning (to be honest, that’s when my brain is the most productive).
✔️ Make sure to drink enough water, eat healthy snacks, and move around. Take walks with the kids when it is your turn to watch them (we broke out the stroller after being dormant in the garage for a year because we don’t trust the 4-year-old not to lick a lamp pole, or stay 6-feet-away from others). I also love this radio flyer wagon for multiple kids.
Who knows how long this is going to last, but I can tell you from experience that focusing on one thing at a time will get you through your to-do list.
Let me know if you have any other productivity tips, I’d love to hear them!!!
My Word of the Year 2020 - None
Every year I create a Word of the Year to help motivate me for the upcoming year. It's more than just New Years Resolutions or Goals, it's more of a life mantra that I come up with and print for my home office. 2020 feels different though.
So, I am not creating a word of the year for 2020, at least not right now.
I was listening to a podcast about why you should set your WORD OF THE YEAR and I realized with all my goal planning + content planning for the next few months, that I didn’t set a word of the year. In fact, I realized I don’t know if I want to for 2020, because as of right now I’m not sure what it’s gonna look like. We just moved and I have a few opportunities for new gigs that will drastically change my day-to-day life depending on which one I move forward with. Every year, I create my Word of the Year to help motivate me for the upcoming year. It's more than just New Years Resolutions or Goals, it's more of a life mantra that I come up with and print for my home office. 2020 feels different though.
So, I am not creating a word of the year for 2020, at least not right now.
Looking at Past Words of the Year
Looking back, my word of the year for 2019 was #INTENTIONAL, and my word of the year in 2018 was #CREATE (each with their own blog post about my intentions of WHY I chose that specific word). While I started off each year off with a different idea of what that meant, I quickly realized that sometimes it’s really hard to plan out everything - especially in 2019.
Between Ryeson’s permanent school closing, me saying no to a lot of potential projects, us buying AND selling a house, moving to a new place where we didn’t know anyone, and Jeff getting promoted — 2019 was a year of transition for my family.
I definitely learned that I had to be more intentional with my time when I had less of it (so my word of the year was actually perfect). Planning ahead, each month, each week, and each morning — knowing what tasks had to get done for my clients was even more important than if Rye was in school full time.
Now that he is back in school again, I’m definitely not going to forget how important being intentional is.
So the moral of the story is to plan ahead, but also remember that life tends to throw you curveballs. And you should just roll with the punches and just enjoy life like every day is #TACOtuesday, or something like that.
I am curious to hear from you: 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎? 𝗪𝐡𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭??