Finding Normalcy in the Chaos: Using Social Media When Parenting Feels Overwhelming

When my son was two, he needed a feeding tube. The procedure went fine, but watching him lie still on the hospital bed at Oakland Kaiser for over 12 hours while he healed? Not fun. I just sat there, helpless. Friends sent funny memes, and to be honest, they helped. So did sharing my experience on social media. It wasn’t about chasing likes or curating some perfect feed. It was about feeling less alone in a situation that felt... pretty damn lonely.

And I’m not the only one who gets that. Maybe you’ve heard about Whitney, the TikTok mom from Utah. She posted a video dancing in a hospital while her baby was recovering from RSV. I first saw her story on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu, where she talked about how the internet had a lot to say about it, with many (including castmates) accusing her of doing it for attention.

But here’s the reality: parenting is hard, and when your kid is sick, it gets even harder. If dancing or sharing your experience on social media helps someone cope, who are we to judge? Oh wait. Everyone on social media is here to judge. But here’s where I stand—if you’re parenting a kid with health issues, you’ll take any small slice of normal you can get.

Social Media: Connection or Comparison?

When your kid is sick, your world doesn’t look like everyone else’s. I’ve spent more hours than I care to admit scrolling through Instagram while sitting in hospital rooms or waiting for appointments. It’s a distraction, a connection... and also, a comparison trap.

There I was, liking photos of friends at vineyards or on vacation, while my reality was a whole lot more complicated. Between enzymes, nebulizer treatments, and germ anxiety, my life was... let’s just say, not Instagram-ready. I wrote about my experience on the Cystic fibrosis Foundation’s website and my own blog (Instagram vs Reality).  Sharing helped, but that constant comparison? It’s tough to shake.

That’s what social media does, right? It shows you a life you’re not living. The carefree one where no one’s worried about germs or hospital stays. And when you’re already stressed, that kind of comparison hits hard.

Whitney’s MomTok RSV Video: Clout or Coping?

Now, back to Whitney. Was her RSV video posted for clout? Probably. But let’s be real—who cares?! We’re all trying to cope, and sometimes that means posting things that others don’t get. Is it perfect? No. But neither is life. And I’m not about to throw shade at someone finding a bit of joy in a dark moment.

… Though, the other moments from the show have bene fun to talk about with friends. :) 

The Reality of Social Media for Moms

Social media can make you feel like crap about your situation. Seeing everyone else’s perfect moments while your reality is full of hospital visits and treatment schedules? Yeah, that stings.

But here’s the other side: social media can also remind you that you’re not alone. I’ve had deep, meaningful conversations with parents who are going through similar things. We share frustrations, fears, and those small victories that keep us going. That’s why I keep using it.

Still, there’s a line. When social media started making me feel more drained than connected, I muted, unfollowed, and took a step back. Even though posting on social media was part of my “job,” I had to set those boundaries.

Finding Balance

Social media isn’t the enemy. Sure, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap, but it can also be a tool for connection and humor, especially in those hard moments. For every perfect photo on Instagram (or a reality show about moms on Hulu), there’s a behind-the-scenes reality you don’t see.

And when you’re in the thick of parenting a sick kid, it’s okay to post, scroll, share—whatever helps you feel connected. You don’t need anyone’s approval to do what gets you through.

Whitney’s video caused a lot of debate, but at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to get through life’s hard moments. For some, that means dancing in a hospital room. For others, it means scrolling through Instagram at 3 a.m. Neither one is wrong.

Finding Normalcy in the Chaos

For parents like us—whether your kid has cystic fibrosis or something else—finding normalcy is a survival tactic. And yes, social media can play a part in that. It’s okay to share the highlights, even when things are tough behind the scenes. It’s okay to laugh at memes, feel good about likes, or just enjoy a funny cat video.

We’re all doing the best we can, and sometimes that means embracing the chaos—one post, one dance, or one meme at a time.