Self-Care for Moms is an Act of Protest: 3 Reasons Why Moms Matter

This message is specifically for moms & non-binary parents — Taking care of yourself is a form of protest.

Seriously. Moms (including myself) need to change their mindset about what "self-care" means because taking care of yourself is not a luxury - it's a necessity.

It is important to remember that you are your own person, outside of your family. This can be difficult to do, especially if you have been raised to believe that the nuclear family is the only thing that matters. However, it is crucial to take care of yourself first and foremost. This doesn't mean that you should neglect your loved ones, but rather that you should remember that you matter just as much as they do. When you take care of yourself, it allows you to be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, worker, HUMAN, activist, etc.

Taking care of yourself requires effort and intentionality but it is so worth it. When you love and respect yourself enough to prioritize your own happiness, it has a ripple effect on those around you.

When moms prioritize their mental health *WE* are sending a powerful message to ourselves and the world that we matter. That moms & women matter. That makes others believe it as well. And that’s when change can happen.

Self Care for Moms Is Important for Work

With everything moms have going on - work, kids, stress, etc. - it's easy to let our mental health fall by the wayside. As a result, we are overworked and underappreciated.

You may have seen articles saying that moms are burning out at alarming rates. It's because we pulled so much of the mental load of the past two years. And many times, we have put ourselves last.

It's time for a change.

It's no secret that motherhood is one of the most demanding and challenging roles a woman can take on. From the moment we give birth, we are responsible for keeping another human being alive and safe. Often, this means putting our own needs aside to care for our children. While there is nothing wrong with sacrificing for our children, it's important to remember that we cannot pour from an empty cup.

So hear me out.

When we take care of ourselves, we're better able to take care of others. We have more patience, and the ability to prioritize ourselves— like doing the research to find a place to schedule a therapy appointment.

Or working at a job where we feel empowered. Or understanding that we don’t have to stay in toxic relationships because we understand that “we” matter.

Self Care for Moms Gives Us Time & Energy to Protest

Self-care also gives moms more time and energy to focus on protesting and fighting for things we care about, like organizing, helping the community, or researching candidates so they can vote with their values.

So next time you're feeling overwhelmed or exhausted, remember that taking care of yourself is an act of defiance – and one that will benefit everyone in your life. Making time for yourself and your own well-being is an important step in becoming the kind of person who can take care of others.

Self-care doesn't have to be a big production. It can be something as simple as taking 10 minutes out of your day to yourself - no kids, no husband, no work - and just doing whatever you want. Or take a walk around your block, making sure to look up and appreciate the beauty around you. Or read your favorite book with a cup of tea.

It means asking for help, especially during the hard times.

Self-care is not some niche or privileged idea. It's a way of life that everyone should practice, whatever their situation. If you think "I don't have time for self-care" I'd challenge you to reconsider that mindset.

When you are feeling practically overwhelmed, ask your kids to go to their room, put headphones on and just try to breathe for 5 minutes. Come back and address whatever overwhelmed you in the first place.

And sometimes it's bigger, like therapy or a longer-term commitment to something that addresses your specific issues - like finally making that doctor's appointment for yourself to address continuing headaches. Or a therapy appointment to talk about what's overwhelming you.

Yes, having the time & money to take care of yourself is a privilege. And it’s a privilege I want to see more moms & minorities get because we deserve it.

Especially new moms. They are going through a period in their life where they HAVE to focus on a small infant, all while healing from childbirth. This is where it is easy to start the habit of not taking care of yourself.

.. I know I didn’t.

Did you know that Self Care has a history rooted in activism?

1983: African-American writer, feminist, poet and civil-rights activist Audre Lorde (1934-1992) poses for a photograph during her 1983 residency at the Atlantic Center for the Arts in New Smyrna Beach, Florida. (Photo by Robert Alexander)

It’s true.

While the term was coined in the 50s by doctors, it because popular — and political in the 70s - from a black queen woman and the Black Panthers. Read more from this article on Teen Vogue: The Radical History of Self Care.

The popularity of the term was in part due to the political climate of the time. The idea of taking care of oneself, both physically and mentally, was something that was championed by many different groups and individuals. Self-care became a way to take control of one's own life and wellbeing, in a time when many felt like they had little control over their lives.

Self-care has been a political act since the 1970s, when the women's and civil rights movements brought it to the forefront. Through learning the history of self-care, we can see how it has been used as a tool for resistance and liberation.

In the 70s, self-care became politicized as a way for women to resist oppressive forces. The women's movement was focused on liberating women from patriarchal structures that limited their autonomy. One way they did this was by using self-care as a form of resistance. This meant taking care of themselves in ways that society said they shouldn't, like going to the doctor without their husband's permission or getting an abortion. Self-care allowed women to take control of their own bodies and lives, which was a radical act at the time.

The civil rights movement also made self-care political.

Black people were fighting for their right to live with dignity and respect. They demanded self-respect and refused to accept second-class citizenship. Part of this was taking care of themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally. This meant things like focusing on education, creating safe spaces for black people to gather, and providing mental health support within communities.

We see a lot of these same issues coming back up in 2022... This is why we are seeing a rise in the idea that self-care is still political today. In our current climate of anxiety and stress, many people are turning to self-care as a way to cope with the challenges of everyday life.

Because -- with social media -- and activists, we are starting to stand up and say -- WE MATTER. 

Self care has always been about more than just pampering oneself. It is about taking control of one’s health and well-being, and making sure that one’s needs are being met in a way that is empowering. For women, especially moms and people of color, this has often meant fighting against a system that doesn’t always have their best interests at heart.